Ponder

I love words.  The very words of God created the world. Now that is powerful.  Proverbs 18:21 says Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.  So life and death, create and destroy are in the power of words.

I am very simple in thought.  Some of the words that I like best are the words that you can spell from  forwards and backwards like Mom, Dad, Bob and the best one WOW ........  What about those words that spell a different word backwards like "stressed" is "desserts"...that's where I always go when I am stressed.  Or the same letters mixed up spells another word like "listen" spells "silent".  Now there's a basic therapy practice.

One of my favorite words to mediate on from scripture is the word "ponder".  In the story of Mary in Luke 2 the shepherds are visited by an angel of the Lord which tells them "there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord" (vs11).  Those are significant words, the announcement of our Savior.  As the shepherds visited Mary, they made known the statements told to them.  Vs. 19 says that Mary treasured up all these things , pondering them in her heart.

Ponder is verb....an action word which means : to consider something deeply and thoroughly; meditate, to weigh carefully in the mind; consider thoughtfully.

As I pondered this word "ponder" and thought of the significant statement that the shepherds shared with Mary, it would be reasonable to think she did just that ......considered deeply and thoroughly, weighed carefully what was told to her.  

So this is what I considered.  Have I spoken something to someone for them to ponder?  Something so significant that it stayed with them.  Was it life or death?  Did it create or destroy in their life?  Wouldn't it be great if the words that escape from our lips (which can never be captured or retrieved) would be words to "pondered",  a child might think...someone does care for me  or a spouse might think.....I am valued.....or a parent might think....they (being children) are grateful.  

I am going to work hard to speak words for others to "ponder", that speak life and help to create in them their full potential. 

STRESSED

That's the word that I would use to describe my week.  I am so glad that it's Saturday just to be able to pack away this past week.  Nothing really out of the ordinary occurred, just life.  But it was the compounding of all of those life roles or some would call identity roles that just intersected or as in Spanish " choque" - a collison of who I am.

One highlight this week was that I attended a wonderful in-service training by Barbara Gruener, a General Education Counselor from Friendswood ISD who was a breath of fresh air.   Just one snippet of her talk was the roles that we have and caring for self.  So take a moment of just begin to put behind your name who you are:  Karen Horn, BA,MSW,LMSW (okay, those are just professional stuff) Christian,wif,mom,gdmom,sis,dau,au,fri,co,sstea,col,nei, just to name a few.  It reminds me of that old popular children's book, Caps for Sale by Esphyr Slobodkina.  The man was a peddler of caps and he would stack them all on top of his head.  He would travel through the town yelling "Caps for sale, 50cents".  He became tired and climbed in a tree and went to sleep.  While he was sleeping, monkeys came and took the caps.  When he awoke, he yelled and screamed for the monkeys to give him back his caps but none of them would do it.  Finally in frustration, he threw down the only cap he had, his very own, onto the ground.  When he did this, all the monkeys threw down the caps and he was able to gather them up and began his life again as a peddler.

Everyday we wear these "caps" of who we are in different orders.  A big wind like what we had  yesterday will topple them right off of our head causing us to have to gather them again and put them back on. The stress and strain of balancing them can be burdensome.  But there is more to us.

If  identity roles were not enough, where the rubber meets the road is our function roles: worker, teacher, counselor, nurse, doctor, domestic engineer (that's a housekeeper), cook, designer, lawn person, writer, tutor, launder, chauffeur, chaperone, supervisor, referee, beautician, companion, coach, repair man, painter,  economist, juggler (keeping all of these "plates" spinning and in the air), administrator, judge, prison guard (if you have had children, you've been one), playmate.......need I say more.  What a resume.  No wonder we are stretched thin (metaphorically speaking). I am weary just thinking about it all.

But, for most of us, we love it and it is who we are and what we do.  So how do we carry this weight while we are taking care of ourselves.  First and foremost,  1 Peter 5:7 says, " Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you." (NLT). Draw your strength from Him.  Then do what you can to get sleep, eat well, exercise (it does help to chase away stress, anxiety, depression) and laugh.  Another day, we will add more strategies to our apron pockets.

Darrell posted a great video that I want to share also.  As a preface, can I ask you a question?
Have you pulled a "hamstring" while running in your "staccato heels" running this race of life?  If so, lean on your Father for He cares for you and is able to carry you to the finish line.

I feel so blessed today and overwhelmed by all of the birthday wishes.  Just to have that sense that someone knows your name and expresses something kind is like a breath of fresh air, encouragement to the soul. 

Today was a busy day, rushing from here to there, trying to be responsible, fulfilling duties and balancing a hundred task that all seemed to be the "urgent" one.   So receiving birthday wishes all day was especially uplifting to me. 

As I was going about my busy day on a hurried errand to a classroom to deliver paperwork, I saw two little 1st graders tailing me down the small hallway.  I was under a time crunch and needed to leave to get to another school quickly so was determined to deliver the goods and move on when I heard a small voice say "I am sad".  I gave a quick back glance and saw the two boys and presumed that they were talking together.  Within seconds, I heard the small voice again say, " I am sad".  This time, it stopped me in my tracks and I turned to see this little boy right behind me......telling ME that he was sad.  At that point, it didn't matter where I needed to be, I had to meet that child right where he was in his sadness.

I asked him, "why are you sad", he said "my grandmother died last Friday".   Being a grandmother of a 1st grader (who has a birthday today also), my heart strings were being strummed or better, hammered.  I asked him asked about the funeral and he said they already had it.  I then asked if I could just hug him.  He said yes, so I gave him a big side hug.   We talked about who he could talk with if he continued to be sad and that I  would check back on him on Friday when I would be back on campus.

You know, I didn't know that little boy's name and I am not sure he knew mine but in that moment  he needed someone to know him and his hurt. He took a chance and reached out in his need and I am so glad that God allowed me to hear him and meet him right where he was.

Be assured today that He knows you.  Psalm 139 beautifully reminds us of just how much He knows each and every one of us.   Be encouraged today as this song sings over you.  

I had an interesting experience on Saturday while shopping.  Certainly one of my favorite past times.  It was an unplanned stop at a little "mom and pop" shop that specializes in beautiful dresses of all kinds.  One never knows when a special occasion will present so I began looking at the long elegant gowns.  I fully realized that I might have been in an area of sizes that didn't quite reflect my present state.  I am extremely hopefully and like external motivation so I felt it was appropriate to be looking at those gowns.  We had a nice sales lady who was very helpful and softly  informed me that most of the gowns "ran at least 1 to 2 sizes small".  Not to be deterred, I found a gown, much to my liking and decided that I would attempt to see how it looked on me.  I know all of you have been in those small shops that have just curtains for doors on the dressing room with some type of wood panel creating a "stall".  So in we piled, two of my daughters and myself and drew the curtain closed creating only a limited visual barrier but all conversations were still very much public.

When a situation is almost ridiculous, the humor of it begins to overcome all reason.  I instructed the girls to just help me get into the dress and then to attempt to zip it as much as they could. Surely I am not the only one that has ever attempted such a feat.  Well, low and behold, they got that dress zipped with just a few comments of "hope I don't bust out the zipper".  There was no way I could sit down but the skirt of the dress was touching the ground and I was actually feel fairly prideful that I was in that size.  I ventured out of the dressing room, to the awaiting sales lady who appeared to have amazement on her face.  I assured her that this was the size that I wanted and would be working really hard in the months ahead to be able to wear the dress without so much exposure.

As I entered back into the dressing the room, the sales lady mentioned that there was a similar dress on the rack that she wanted me to view.  I agreed and began to change.  As she returned to my stall, she gently stated that she hoped that I was not offended  as she handed the dress to me.  The second dress was very similar to the first but one distinct difference.  The size of the second dress was 3 sizes larger than what I had just tried on.  I supposed that based on her prior comment that dresses ran 1 to 2 sizes small, this was her best estimate of what I actually wore.

Not to be discouraged, I thanked her for her help and just reminded myself that I actually zipped the other dress...nothing that about 25 lbs couldn't really fix.  So, I have my eyes set on that dress.  What a great external motivation to continue to run and make good choices.   I will post the pics when I get this dress. Actually, the greater challenge would be for me to find the exact same dress at half the price cause it was a bit pricey. I love a challenge!!!  Check  back with me....

I was running late today (2 puns intended) , enjoying this Sunday morning, trying to get in some miles before church.  As I started up the street the block over, I begin to hear pounding hooves behind me.  Yes, the runner's nightmare, a dog!!!  This was my normal 3 mile course, safe, no dogs just dangerous sidewalks.  As I heard the drumming of those feet, in that split second, I had to make a decision, fight or flight.  I am a coward, through and through, and flight would typically be my option but this 50lb dog with 2 more feet than me was certainly going to catch me within 10 feet, so I stopped to fight.  I did give warning to the owner who was trying to retrieve the dog, "You better get your dog" as if I was going to use one of my P90X back kicks on him and just keep going.  HA!  As the dog closed the gap and got within biting distance, I faced him (you know, facing the giant) and extended my hand to him, such as an olive branch of good will and peace.  His response was to show his teeth and growl but I took it as a good sign that  he was wagging his tail.  I might have miss read that last sign.  I did speak in a friendly voice, calm, low pitched, telling him he was a good boy, all the time facing him while he circled me.  Finally the owner, began to gain some ground from the back of his house, of course with another dog in tow and slowly enticed his beloved pet to return to him.  I continued that first mile at almost record pace, finishing the 3 miles with a decent time.

When we are confronted with difficult situations, we have typically two choices, fight or flight.  Each circumstance can demand either of those choices and it would be quite right in that incident.   A great example of fight/flight can be viewed in the life of David in 1Samuel.  He faced a lion, bear, Goliath, hide from King Saul and faced King Saul.  Of course those are just a few of his life events.  It can be difficult to discern the right course of action but in all circumstances, God is with us. 

My life verse which is a verse that has just resonated for a long time in my life is Joshua 1:9 " Have I not commanded you? "Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go".    We have been many places and done some things that only God could do through us, all of which could not have happened with out the assurance that God is with me wherever I go......even running the race.

Have you ever had one of those mornings that just needed to be "restarted".  Today was that type of day for me.  I rushed out of my house, making a prediction of  a bad hair day in the making due to all of the fog, jumped in the car, started it up and put it in reverse.  Within seconds,  I felt a jerk and instantly knew that I hit one  of our cars  that was parked behind me. Of course, it was the car that we had just gotten out of the shop yesterday.  Fortunately, the only damage was a tear in the license's plate.  So I got out and went to the kitchen window, used sign language to tell Darrell that I had hit the car but everything was OK...I am sure you can imagine my communication skills.  I finally successfully backed out of the drive and away I went to school.  About three blocks away, I began to dig in my big black purse for my cell phone.  Who could go an entire day without being connected to the world?  So I back-tracked quickly, having almost a head on as I came around the corner to my house.  Now with the cell phone glued to my hand, I was on my way again.

I try really hard not to be late but this morning, was going to be one of those days.  As I was lamenting the the possibility, I realize today was school staff photo, hence the reason I was wearing my school shirt which just added additional pressure to be at school on time.  Whew what a start of the day, not to mention the stresses that occurred throughout the day. 

I certainly need to be refreshed and renewed.  Strengthened for the many task before me.

Isaiah 40: 30-31 (NIV)

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30 Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the Lord

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

Have a blessed day. 

 

Wow, the day of love...a wonderful day for people to intentionally declare to their love ones their heart felt feelings. These declarations come in so many forms and certainly can hang a high price tag.  But I would venture to say, especially for us moms, the best gifts are the ones that come with personal time invested such as a handmade card, those wonderful school projects and unbelievable bear hugs.

How did you choose to express your love today?  For most areas of my life, I am highly organized and very deliberate, well planned and prepared.  However, when it comes to Valentines Day, I am a last minute person, rushing around to get a card at the most.  This year, I really wanted to bless my husband with a surprise gift.  I shopped yesterday and arranged everything neatly in a bag.  I was going to leave this morning early, go by his office and leave it on his desk....at least that was the plan.

Early this morning, after my workout, my husband reminded me that I had to take him to the mechanic's to retrieve the car (yes an unplanned expense).  So I quickly adjusted my thinking, rushing to the car to hide the gift.  I dropped him off, starting to run behind but knowing I could pull this off.

I pulled into the parking lot, jumped out, unlocked the office and hurried to turn off the alarm.  I sprinted down the hall to his office, place the gift on his desk and returned to the alarm  box.  Just as I started to set the alarm and dart out of the office within the 30 seconds of delay, the alarm system went off, loud and clear.   I had not entered the correct code and set the building alarm off.  Knowing that the police would be on their way within minutes if I did not turn off the alarm I considered my options.  I certainly did not have time to wait for the police and explain my actions, hoping to salvage my surprise or I would be late for work.  My only option was to call Darrell, get the right code to shut off the alarm, spoiling my surprise.  So sadly, I called, confessed my actions and got the code, shutting off the alarm just as the security company called for a password.  So much for pulling off a special surprise, actually I guess it was a surprise.....

I hope that someone has told you today that they love you, value you, need you.  Here is an additional love song for you!!!!!  Have a blessed evening.

Hebrews 12:1-3

 ¹ Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, ² fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³ Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.(NIV)

Who would have thought that at 51, I would start running.  I have never really enjoyed running even when I was a college athlete.  It was just something that was part of training, warming up, a directive by the coach.  So for me to actually chose to run is an oddity. So now it has been over a year and a half  that I have been hitting the pavement, usually in the early morning hours putting miles on the running shoes that my children gifted me on my 52 birthday. 

On long runs, I actually have time to think, pray and consider the day a head of me.  Such was yesterday, starting my 5th mile, deep in thought,  something caught me eye.  Distracted me from the focus of my run.  I was running on the uneven sidewalk, which can be more dangerous than the street.   As two cars approached, I took my eyes off the path and looked to my left.  In that split moment, I stumbled and fell. I quickly gathered myself (since the time clock was ticking) and resumed my stride, bearing the pain in my hands and knee.

God brought to mind I Corinthians 10:12 "Therefore let him who thinks he stands, take heed lest he fall". (NASB) The analogy is that as I was running my race, on the path set before, thinking all is good, a momentary distraction caught my eye, lead me to take my eyes off of where I was going and I fell.  Such is life with temptations, most of which are flirting thoughts, like clouds that float by, here now and then gone.  However, the consequences are far reaching.  Some very painful and can be crippling.

I recovered from my fall yesterday but feel the affects even today.  I will continue to  run but will keep my eyes on the path set before me both physically and spiritually.